SUB-ROSA NEWS


BUSH - RATHER DEBATES IN NEGOTIATION


Washington September 23, 2004

President Bush announced today the appointment of Richard Grasso as his lead negotiator regarding the forthcoming debates with CBS anchor Dan Rather. Mr. Grasso, best known for his alleged fleecing of the NY Stock Exchange, will seek postponement of his current $50 million lawsuit against the Exchange.

Mr. Rather is represented by Bill Parcells, the hard-nosed coach of the NFL's Dallas Cowboys. A CBS spokesman stated that both a powerful offense and strong defense is necessary when dealing with the Bush adminstration. In addition to his well-known attitude, Mr Parcells excels at both.

The main point of contention will be the number of debates. Mr Bush, insisting that the Rather controversy is the main issue of the election, is demanding two debates each week.

In a related development, a reliable source reported that there has been a last minute snag that might derail the Bush - Kerry debates. Apparently, President Bush
has conditioned his appearance on having Vice President Cheney join the debate with him.