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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

SUB-ROSA NEWS

Some of the News
That may be True

October 11, 2006

Speaker J. Dennis Hastert said Tuesday that members of his staff should be fired “if there was a cover-up” in the way they had handled complaints about Mark Foley’s conduct toward teenagers in the Congressional page program. In response to a reporter's queation, he said that of course the same rule would apply to House leaders.

To Mr. Hastert's chagrin, several of his aides testified under oath that they had long ago informed Hastert about Representative Foley's e-mails and conduct. As demanded by Representative John Boehner, next in line to become Speaker, Mr. Hastert immediately resigned.

Never one not to have a Plan B, Mr Hastert moved immediately to pursue a new career. He was named CEO of the corporation, Trans Fat International. Mr. Hastert is expected to lead an extensive campaign against scurrilous criticism of trans fats and attempts to prohibit or limit the use of this healthful food substance.

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