Monday, February 20, 2006


Some of the News
That may beTrue

Washington, D.C. Feb.20 -- This newspaper has obtained, from a former employee of the National Security Agency, secret transcripts of several of Osama bin Laden’s telephone conversations. The source mandated that his identity not be disclosed fearing the serious retribution NSA exacts in all cases of leaks.

The first transcript is of a conversation between bin Laden and his #2 man, Abdullah Rahman on February 18, 2003. Excerpts:

Rahman: I hear, Dear Leader, that there will soon be a heat wave in the
bin Laden: Yes, I thought of that when I had our group relocated. I chose
these highlands precisely because of that unbearable summer heat.
These caves stay cool year round.
Rahman: How wise.

February 27, 2003: Excerpt from transcript of phone call with U.S. contact:

bin Laden: What is going on with the online version of the New York Times? I
could not download it this morning.
Reporter (name deleted):. There has been an electrical power problem at the
website facility. It should be fixed in no more than an hour.
bin Laden: It had better be. I don’t want to rely just on the Weekly Standard.

March 2, 2003. Conversation with bin Laden’s # 2 man, Ahmed Maqdisi. Excerpt:

Maqdisi: I just talked with your wife. She wants you to bring home a gourd
of yak milk to have with dinner.
bin Laden: It’s always something. I’ll be glad when we establish the caliphate
and we can move back to the city.
Maqdisi: She also wants you to clean up your half of the cave.

March 10, 2003. Excerpt from conversation with Muhammad Azzam, # 2 man in
bin Laden’s Al Queda organization:

Azzam: Reports from our sources confirm that the United States forces are about to invade Iraq.
bin Laden: Good. We’ll get rid of that arrogant fool, Saddam Hussein, and then
establish a presence there.
Azzam: Have we heard any more about the search for us?
bin Laden: No. They’re stupid. But I’m sure they’re eavesdropping, so no more
telephoning or e-mails unless we encrypt.


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