SUB-ROSA NEWS

Some of the News
That May Be True

CHRISTMAS LIST



All they want for Christmas is:

George W. Bush - Renditions for John Murtha and Cindy Sheehan

Dick Cheney - A Mr. Rogers mask, to soften his image

Tom Delay - Another switch of judges, to Mr. Delay's brother-in-law

Coach Larry Brown - The Detroit Pistons players

George Clooney - A little gold statuette

Pat Robertson - An exorcism for Dover, Pennsylvania

Karl Rove - A Patrick Fitzgerald rendition

Jon Stewart - Return of Steven Colbert

Mayor Bloomberg - mass transit

Anderson Cooper - Just a little exposure, maybe a small flood

Democratic Party - Another Bill Clinton

CBS - A youthful anchor, with charisma and gravitas

Target - A trainload of Christmas trees

George W. Bush - Retirement in Crawford, Texas