Friday, December 15, 2006


Some of the News
That may be True


TEHRAN Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad opened the conference with an angry condemnation of the "theory" of evolution as a hoax initiated and perpetuated by the "Great Satan". He accused the United States of undermining religion and claiming that human development took place in Africa and Europe instead of someplace in the Middle East, often referred to as the Garden of Eden .

Several scientists showed delegates how the complicated aspects of human life could not have evolved from animals but had to be the work of a higher being. At the conference's close Ahmadinejad announced that henceforth all schools in Iran would each creationism as the true story of humans in Persia and around the world. Evolution would become just a discredited theory relegated to textbook footnotes.

Several reporters and news organizations claimed that President George W. Bush was seen in attendance, incognito.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Some of the News
That may be True


In Moscow today, a spokesman for Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation, denied that President Putin was in any way involved with the collapse and medical emergency that has put Senator Tim Johnson in critical condition. He also denied that any Russian agency had conspired against Johnson. In fact, the spokesman pointed out, Mr. Putin had sent a wire to Senator Johnson at the Washington hospital wishing him a speedy recovery from his emergency surgery.

Searches by the FBI of a number of Russian airliners and of the Republican National Committee headquarters revealed no traces of plutonium 210. The FBI also confirmed that Vice President Cheney had not made a secret trip to Moscow and that it had not been able to find evidence that he had communicated with Russian officials.

A survey of several Blockbuster outlets in and around Washington indicated that several high ranking Democrats rented the movie, "Dave" yesterday.

(this blog contains no transfats)

Sunday, December 10, 2006


Some of the News
That may be True


Sacha Baron Cohen, in his guise as Borat the intrepid reporter from Kazakhstan, has been touring Iraq for almost two weeks. Crowds have gathered around as he has interviewed local officials, clerics, and ordinary citizens. News coverage has been brisk and generally favorable. Reportedly Borat has been quite pleased with the reception received and with the sales of his Mecca compass, which always points in the direction of Mecca.

Some of the most enthusiastic responses come when Borat refers to President Bush as the "Supreme Warlord Premier Bush" and when he sings "Throw the Jews Down the Well" Audiences were not as pleased when he asked how the interviewees liked working closely with Americans or when he mangled references to "Shiats" and "Sundies" and could not keep the "sextarian" identities straight.

Audiences were aghast when Borat asked directions to the local prostitution district or tried to peek under burkas. The crowds turned openly hostile when he referred to the gay ayatolla and asked whether gay imams could legally get married.

Members of the Borat production crew hurriedly flew out of Iraq at the end of last week. Unfortunately, Borat had disappeared. It is assumed that he is gathering material for his forthcoming tours of Iran and Syria.

This blog contains no transfats


News Item

NEW ORLEANS, Dec. 9 — Brushing past months of unflattering headlines about a federal corruption investigation, Representative William J. Jefferson was elected to a ninth term on Saturday, with a decisive runoff victory that again emphasized this city’s sharp racial divisions.


Now all that could make this news worse is assignment of Mr. Jefferson to the incompetent and discredited House Ethics Committee.