altara

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

SUB-ROSA NEWS

Some of the News
That may be True

STATE OF THE UNION


Washington December 31, 2006 An advance copy of President Bush's state of the union speech has been obtained from an unnamed source. It reveals a startling departure from the norm of this annual address. These excerpts highlight words that will jolt the worldwide audience, beginning with his opening line:

"The state of the union is terrible"

Mr. Bush then goes on to outline some of the troubling conditions in the nation and the threats it faces. These include:

Our economy suffers from the loss of jobs. Many of the increases in employment reflect fast-food type jobs at a fraction of former wages.

Deficits increase and our national debt is at record levels. Our country is in heavy debt to foreign nations, including China. Trade imbalances have soared.

Many foreign countries hate us. Latin Americans have been electing left wing leaders.

The Middle East has proved intractable. The democratic elections we favor have produced strong results for the Muslim Brotherhood and Hamas.

Iraq remains a costly endeavor, in terms of money and lives. Our problems there have emboldened Iran to oppose efforts to keep it from developing nuclear capability.

The President will close this listing by describing our serious health care problems and the continuing threat from the rising entitlement spending.

Finally, the point of all this will be made when the President states:

"It is in times like these that our nation needs a stong leader.
I AM THAT LEADER. I have kept this country safe from terrorists;
I have toppled Saddam Hussein. We are winning the war in Iraq
and the war against terror that started with the horrific
actions on 9/11"


Without a great deal of specificity, Mr. Bush will pledge to confront the threats
and solve the problems that face our glorious nation. He will continue to protect our traditional culture, and will note that his appointments of Roberts and Alito to the
Supreme Court are proof of the progress he has made. He will continue monitor telephone conversations as he deems necessary. The speech will end on the uplifting note that if the people will put their trust in President Bush and his Republican party, the future of this nation will be forever bright.