Some of the News
That may be True
Borowitz Plans to Quit
Andy Borowitz, the acclaimed humorist, announced today that, after his last column at the end of June, he will no longer engage in political and cultural dialogue. In response to reporters' questions, he said that there was now no place for satire presented as fake news.
By way of further explanation, Borowitz noted that the real news was so outrageous and outlandish that he could no longer compete. Asked for examples, he provided these samplings:
"If babies had guns, they wouldn't be aborted"
Obama was born in Africa
I cared so much about my country that I engaged in improper conduct (serial adultery)
Most Congressional Democrats belong to the Communist party.
Same-sex marriage leads to polygamy, bestiality, and statutory rape.
Borowitz asked "How can I compete with that?"