scalia

"There are those who contend that it does not benefit African-Americans to get them into the University of Texas where they do not do well, as opposed to having them go to a less-advanced school, a less -- a slower-track school where they do well," Scalia said,....

Borowitz response:   Study: Scalia Better Off in “Less Advanced” Court

Bernie

Go vote for the Bern
Although he's a Socialist
And a bit scary

cruz

Ted Cruz vows to 'carpet bomb' ISIS until he finds out 'if sand can glow in the dark'


Ted Cruz can just go {"pound sand".

trump

"

"Donald Trump Calls for Barring Muslims From Entering U.S. .."

Call this what it is "radical Republican extremism".

hillary

Vote for Hillary
With her you also get Bill
I'll vote for those two